LOLSew: The Patterns of Your Nightmares

If you don’t know by now, I am clearly on Etsy way too often. I recently read a really interesting blog post from Raptitude on ways people are always trying to avoid discomfort. I could definitely relate and it hit me pretty hard, so go read it on your own time. Now is not the time to get deep.

Now is the time to get creeped (hah! did not plan that at all).

Clowns need no introduction, of course:

04 Ap5 70s clowns

I can’t help but feel like the adult clown is trying to get away with Blackface, which means this birthday party is not going to end well.

I wonder what makes some things nostalgic– like Mad Men-type midcentury dresses— and other things macabre. Take the 70’s for instance. Why were the 70’s so creepy?

04 Ap5 AnimalCostumesDogMask

If someone told me they were dressing up in a bunny costume and then showed up to my door at night looking like this, I would cry. Even the shaggy dog in a burglar mask freaks me out. Is it the fuzzy photography? The dead eyes peering into my soul? Speaking of dead eyes,

04 Ap5 Little Orphan Annie

Thanks for ruining my childhood, 70’s. I’m sure I’ve become a victim to my own bias, but after the first couple of creepy clowns, some patterns just make me uncomfortable.

04 Ap5 Huge Panda

Maybe you think this panda is innocuous enough, but remember, evil lives in the eyes.

04 Ap5 Huge Panda Eyes

Panda is watching you while you sleep. Even the technical drawings look like the blueprint of a government spying operation.

04 Ap5 Panda back 04 Ap5 Panda Front 04 Ap5 Panda side

I’m never going to look at stuffed animals the same. I swear I will wake up in the middle of the night to this penguin staring at my silently:

04 Ap5 Penguin

And then it will waddle away without saying anything while I question my sense of reality.

THEY WANT TO TURN ME INTO A DOLL!!!

04 Ap5 Teddy Bear

Whatever you do, don’t hug the dog or you will become part of its underworld.

04 Ap4 dog costume

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